Defense Mechanism and I...

Dear journal,


The other day, Alex was giving me a weird albeit useful advice:

If you have many concerns and problems, you have to think of a good defense mechanism so that you will be able to cope perfectly.

Usually, Avoidance works for me pretty well. He was telling me to use Supression instead. I said, I'm too emotional of a person to make use of that defense mechanism. I'm like a fountain of emotions all bottled up; if I supress these, I'll surely go crazy. I sometimes use Denial as well, but it is just too painful once you stop. Though Reaction Formation is not my thing, I think it has to be used when needed; masks are good when your other defenses are down.

Nobody in their right mind would want to experience pain. You share to others and you cry, but those things can only do so much to ease whatever it is you're feeling. You search for comfort, but comfort seems to be the last thing you can find. And you cry some more, for it somehow unloads the burden that you feel on your chest. Then when everything fails, your defense mechanisms are there to the rescue.

We use mechanisms because we are done with being knocked out all the time, and we want to be better even if, deep inside, we know that we are just sugar-coating the bitterness of our pain. We wear masks so that people won't see how fragile we really are, and how vulnerable we can be in front of those who we love. We always show up with a smile so that nobody won't notice the tears that have dried during the night. At the end of the day, one does whatever makes him sleep at night.

Unconsciously, we have been using one or probably two of these defenses when we had to avoid ugly truths and scenes. Without us knowing it, we have been accustomed to the idea of not facing the problem directly and deviating it into something more tolerable. I guess there is nothing wrong with this as long as our self-awareness is intact. Later if everything becomes unmanageable, we might just find ourselves embracing insanity and befriending lunacy.

Ergo, we should be stronger to face whatever it is we are hiding from. Defense mechanisms are only temporary and are not for good. We can only fool ourselves for a little time, or else we will be the fool in the end. Yes, pain is really painful. But hey, it will come to pass, too. We can drop the act and remove our masks now, and just be comfortable to face the day with bravado. And the pain? We'll just get used to that (fingers-crossed)...  

Remember, lightning could strike anytime...